11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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