I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
