Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
