gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
