I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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