she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
