sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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