I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
