Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize