and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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