So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
