i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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