yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
