She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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