yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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