nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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