Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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