gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
