It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
