My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
