So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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