Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
