hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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