2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
