70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
