fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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