So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
