What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize