Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
