I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
