its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
