At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
