Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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