So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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