just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
