Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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