He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
