yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
