what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
