I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
