I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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