puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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