I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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