WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
