I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
