I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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