I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
