Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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