She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
