haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
