Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
