Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
