I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
