i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize