i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
