i think my tv is drunk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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