porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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