..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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