im about as happy as oj after his trial
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
