i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
