I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
