Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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