I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
