All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
