I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
