Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think people are normalizing furries
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
