Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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