If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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