if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
