Umm I'm too high to move.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
