"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I need moral support for this bender
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize