My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize