So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
