Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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