Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
