How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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